I feel like ive been ripped from the arms of my caretaker and I am slowly being dragged away. Slowly but surely and with each step back this beast is holding me takes, I feel more and more scared, alone and damned. Then I realize that even the arms I were ripped from were those of unstableness, untrustworthy, pain and just plain madness. But still I miss it cause it was something to hold onto. Now, I just hang my head as all the memories slowly disappear with the face becoming more and more distant in from of me and I slowly slip into an oblivion where I will be left to die.

Good morning to you

Depersonalization

why must i always feel like the world is against me?

im about to say something ive said many times before, im my own worst enemy.  

im exhausted.

tonight someone told me im the only one against me and it made me cry…cause its true…and i knew it. 

feeling like you can trust no one, feeling like no one really loves you, feeling like when it comes down to it youll be standing alone, feeling like youre always alone…is a fucking disgusting ugly way to live…and im so so tired. 

Blame me though?

You shouldnt, cause if you only knew…you wouldnt. 

as black as the night can get
everything is safer now
there’s always a way to forget
once you learn to find a way how

in the blur of serenity
where did everything get lost?
the flowers of naivete
buried in a layer of frost

the smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

thought he had it all before they called his bluff
found out that his skin just wasn’t thick enough
wanted to go back to how it was before
thought he lost everything
then he lost a whole lot more

a fool’s devotion
swallowed up in empty space
the tears of regret
frozen to the side of his face

the smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

I’ve done all I can do
could I please come with you?
sweet smell of sunshine
I remember sometimes

“It’s a test of ultimate will
The heartbreak climb uphill
Got to pick up the pace
If you want to stay in the race
More than just blind ambition
More than just simple greed
More than just a finish line
Must feed this burning need”

I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone, because I love you that much.

I really don’t wanna be here today listening to these fucks. I’ve got a killer migraine and I wanna slap these idiots. They don’t want help anyway!! The world would be a better place without them. Maybe I’m just grumpy right now, I care….I do. But sometimes it’s frustrating.

“Self-compassion entails three core components. First, it requires self-kindness, that we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental. Second, it requires recognition of our common humanity, feeling connected with others in the experience of life rather than feeling isolated and alienated by our suffering. Third, it requires mindfulness-that we hold our experience in balanced awareness, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it. We must achieve and combine these three essential elements in order to be truly self-compassionate.”

“We all have the tendency to believe self-doubt and self-criticism, but listening to this voice never gets us closer to our goals. Instead, try on the point of view of a mentor or good fiend who believes in you, wants the best for your, and will encourage you when you feel discouraged.”

It’s all the same
Sex in the air
Your promise is all the same
You’ll be the one who will always care

But how can you promise the world?
How can you promise your heart when it’s always searching?

But I’m just like you

I don’t want to deny my heart its chance to feel
I don’t want to deny my soul something real
Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy me?

Do you really love him? They’ll say
Your second chances scribbled in the rules
But I think the consequence
It’s just
Something more feels so exciting now
And this black romance is so enticing
And this desire is worth the fighting

But is it worth deciding that I am just like you?

I don’t want to deny my heart its chance to feel
I don’t want to deny my soul something real
Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy you and me?

(And it keeps repeating)
And it keeps repeating
It keeps repeating
(And we keep believing)
And we keep believing
We keep believing

Disrupt the part of me that needs some space
Repeat that look I see in your face
Remind me of truth
Remind me of the reason for existing
Remind me of truth
Remind me of the reason for existing

Another one of my all time favorite songs. Vedera kicks ass.